Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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