I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize