Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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