WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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