I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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