tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
