We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he laminated a picture of his dick.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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