you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
