As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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