if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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