It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
