girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
