he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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