you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
