got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
