so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
