Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
