Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
