Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
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