as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
