forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
