We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
