How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
