Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
