I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
