Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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