and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
