Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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