You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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