yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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