I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
