I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
