i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
