I accidentally burped into my bong.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
