His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
