what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
