Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
