U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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