Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
