just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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