she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
