At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
