Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
