Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
