You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
