Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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