I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
