so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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