You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
