Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She's the barista slut.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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