Buhtt sex?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The best revenge is premature balding
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
